Wrong Way Down Affinage Lane ...

[Baby Chee]

So, I have a blue, a stilton, which turned into a monster.

What am I looking at?  In 10 weeks could I have something poisonous, a foul tasting cheese, or something unique and wonderful?

The two, two pound, lumps are well covered with something looking like sea fungus and white g./p. candidium.  They smell like garbage or rotten seaside detritus. Very unusual.  I'm willing to wait it out, but are there health problems I might be getting involved with when these mature to ripe bags of garbage?

[wharris]

Hmm
Pictures?

[DeejayDebi]

Creature from the black lagoon comes to mind.

 :oI am very leary about taking chances with food. If it smells bad it probably is bad. You know what a blue cheese should smell like - if it doesn't smell like that I'd bag it and toss it.

[riha]

The problem is when you try to create something you're not entirely sure about... I was very dubious about my first feta batch, which turned out great. Just yesterday I made some sour cucumbers, which I have never made before and I was very suspicious about the smell. It was bad. But what if it's supposed to be? You are basically trying to spoil a perfectly good batch of cucumber/cabbage/milk in a controlled way

[Sailor Con Queso]

Good cheese doesn't smell bad. If it looks rotten and smells rotten, then it probably is. Pitch it before you contaminate everything else.

[Baby Chee]

I'm moving it outside into a tupperware so it can stew at 45-60ºF day and night without flies and things.  Hopefully it work, but if it doesn't it will just sit away from everything else until I sample.

Have you ever made any bad cheese?  Bad=stinky and rotten.

I'm making the Stilton over again by the end of the week, and I'll put it in a clean cave for blues alone.  Well, I might put a cheddar in there too, since it has a tight exterior.

[wharris]

Good cheese doesn't smell bad....

One word:
Limberger

[Sailor Con Queso]

You really need a consistent temperature. Fluctuating from 45-60 or whatever isn't going to help.

[Baby Chee]

Yeah, I gave up consistency because I could either...

a) lager them at 75ºF in my main rooms and put up with the stink
b) age them in the basement where it is cooler and even, but totally evil and filled with bugs, and the smell would probably waft about anyway.
c) put them out in one of my cheese caves and possibly doom future cheeses
d) put them in my garage back room I rarely use, but deal with fluctuation.

We'll see how it goes.  So far that back room is holding temps fairly even through the days.  Those two cheese caves plugged in and working actually keep the place warm enough that it remains around 55-65ºF through days and nights.

[DeejayDebi]

Do you have a cooler? Like those picnic coolers? Try that.

[Baby Chee]

It's sitting in a big tupperware bin in that back room.  I think it will be ok for the next 3 or 4 weeks.  Maybe I'll chance putting it in the basement after that.

It's the bastard stepchild of my cheeses, and I am hiding it under any stairs I can find.

[Sailor Con Queso]

Hey, Halloween's coming up. So here's the Top 10 things to do with a stinky cheese:

1 - Wrap walnut sized pieces in cellophane and hand out as "treats".
2 - "Stinky Cheese" someone's car
3 - Smear some of it on tree limbs to attract bats
4 - Rub some on your neck to ward off vampires
5 - Use it as bait to catch rats. Hang rats in trees to scare kids
6 - Float it in a barrel of water and have kids bob for stinky cheese
7 - Insert twigs as legs and arms to make a stinky cheese monster
8 - Use a fan to blow stink all over for authentic smell of death
9 - Insert popsicle stick and make stinky cheese sticks as treats
10 - Dab a little on the forehead of every kid that comes around. That way you'll know if they come back around for seconds. AND you'll be REALLY popular on the hot car ride home.

[Baby Chee]

I never realized the utility of bad cheese!!

It might be a good hunting cheese too: smear some on and the bucks will think it is a female in heat.

The smell is similar to seaside rot, so I could just wear a panama shirt, sandals, get out a beach chair, and a fan blowing the stink around, and pretend I am at the beach as  the temps drop down to freezing.  It's a cheap vacation in a cheese.

[wharris]

Hunting scent eh?

I think I willl try that.....

[Boofer]

Excellent Top Ten, Sailor.

You could also dress up the stinky cheese with a trenchcoat, hat, and dark sunglasses so no one could recognize it.

-Boofer-