I would gladly house-sit, turn and scrub your cheeses. I'll even sing songs to your cheeses for flavour improvement. Once you come back, your cheeses will be in pristine condition. All I'm asking for in return is the air fair
New Zealand, here I come
All kidding (and wishing) aside, I would suggest you find someone to turn them, but not brush them if you think the brushing would bother them. Your cheeses will most likely be fuzzy, but nothing you can't manage. The paste will be fine as long as they are turned. Five weeks is a long time without turning.
Anyone know if putting the cheeses in the fridge for 5 weeks unattended, and then return them to the cave would be a viable option?